Assalamualaikum.
Something happened earlier this week. Someone that I knew, not close to me, just achieve quite a career achievement at a young age.
She is not studying the same course as me. She's studying the language while I am an art enthusiast. I am happy for her, very proud of her for being a Muslim Malay girl that is able to achieve something big at a young age but at some point, after a while somehow there is a dark dot in the deep of my heart that starts appearing. I feel hurt and sad.
The more I ignore the feeling, the more it hit me. Then, I decided to do something about it. I started to have a conversation with myself. This was the dialogue between my mini-me, I named them A & B.
A: I am happy and hurt when I heard the news.
B: Why do you hurt?
A: I was wondering why she is able to achieve success at a young age.
B: Then? What is wrong with it?
A: I am still figuring things out. Haven't found the "right career" yet. I am still in progress.
B: I see.. So, are you comparing your achievement with her?
A: No.. I know I shouldn't, we human being are created with different potential. We should embrace ourselves. I also know that life is not a race, we shouldn't compare ourselves to others.
B: Then, okay. Aware of that, why do you feel hurt?
A: I don't know. I just wondering how come she knows her potential at a very young age. Then, I try to search for any motivational speech that is able to solve this issue. I found a speech by Aiman Azlan, the title of the video is "Life is not a race".
First of all, he asked the audience 3 questions and see if we are after to relate with 3 of them. The questions are:
- Do you feel the need to always compare your achievement with others?
-Do you feel the need to be faster, quicker than anybody else? Do you have to be the fastest?
- Do you feel like you cannot turn back? Your life is just a straight road, just forward, you cannot turn back or u-turn?Then, he said, if we say yes with 3 of them or 1 on them, there is a chance that we are seeing life as a race.
From this info, then I know I am in the thought of "Life is a race". That's why I feel hurts. Then he explained more about the reality in our society and why we shouldn't practice "life is a race". He used metaphors that open my mind.
He explained that the idea in life is to see things in a proper timing for ourselves. No need to compare our timing with other people. Though it is not an excuse for us to be lazy, but to encourage ourselves to be in tune with the reality of the moment and not to be overwhelmed with our expectation.
He gave an example of a tree with fruits. Not all fruit ripe at the same time.
Do we ever notice that? It is reflected in the nature that has been created by Allah.
Some fruit takes a long time to ripen to produce a tasteful flavour. We just have to honour that this
particular fruit needs more time to ripe and it is okay.
Another thing, don't we ever notice that every time we eat an unripe fruit, it has an undesirable taste? We cannot force something to be prepared based on our expectation.
Suddenly I remember about durian fruit. Let's take an example of this fruit. We as Malaysian loves durian. The durian tree takes around 5-7 years to produce its fruit. Once the fruit is beginning to appear, we need to take care of the fruit and wait until the fruit ripes. The durian will drop onto the ground by itself when it is fully ripe. So, it requires some waiting period.
There are some species of durian that can be pluck to eat before it falls on the ground. But as far as I know, the durian that tastes best is the one that drops onto the ground when the time comes. I'm not a durian crazy lover but I know some of my friends are willing to pay a large amount of money to eat delicious Balik Pulau Durian. These durian fruits usually collected after it drops onto the ground. If you travel around Balik Pulau, you'll cross over "kebun durian" and you can see how the caretaker sets up a set of net around the trees to prevent the durian from broken once it falls on the ground. Such an intricate technique need to be implemented to eat this fruit but it worth it.
The durian analogy makes me realised that this "life is not a race" has been reflected in the nature that has been created by Allah. Allah created us with our own timing. It reminds me that Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. received his first revelation of the Quran at the age of 40. It is the time that Allah has set for our beloved Rasulullah S.A.W. It is neither too early or too late, it is the right time for him to accept the obligation.
Then, it opens my eye. Maybe I am one of the fruit in the world. I have my own time to fully grown. I cannot force myself to achieve big things in a shorter time because I am in progress to fully understand my potential. I also cannot compare to other people as each one of us have different potential. I need a longer time to bloom as I am searching for a bigger purpose. I also need more time to sharpen my skill and learning new knowledge. So, yes, it answers my dilemma.
May Allah make it easy for us. Like Aiman Azlan said, even though he talking about this "life is not a race" and even have a book about it, it doesn't mean he is immune to it. He is not immune to it but he is aware of it. The state of awareness of we are rushing things is the crucial moment. Once we know about it, we have to do something about it by processing it accordingly.
That's all for today. Hope this writing will benefit everyone.
So, once again, I am asking all of you.
What do you feel when you heard someone nearly your age achieving a new success in their life?
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